The College Diaries | The Time Being Self-Conscious Conquered my Life

It's Friday and it's been yet another week at college. Honestly at this point I feel like I've already been here years yet it's barely been two weeks. Feelings of anxiety and homesickness are definitely not as common. I've finally established regular eating and sleeping patterns and overall I'm not hating the experience.

Classes started this week and I don't think I've ever been happier to be back in a classroom. There's something about the teach/learn interaction that is so straightforward and beneficial that I just love; proclamations of a true nerd, am I right? But seriously, for me succeeding inside the classroom is exponentially easier than succeeding outside the classroom. In the real world everything isn't typed up in convenient PowerPoints or condensed into a textbook. Sometimes we have to gamble and assume which, more times than not, doesn't end how we want it to.

But today I actually want to talk about my difficulties inside the classroom. I like to think I'm a fairly intelligent person. Subjects that usually frustrate the normal student aren't as bad for me and so far my classes have reflected that. Even though I'm taking an advanced course typically meant for upperclassmen and graduate students, it doesn't seem like an extremely hard class, material-wise. Though what is hard for me is discussion. Raising my hand to ask a question or give an answer. The potential of being wrong looms over me and my mind immediately associates being 'wrong' with being 'stupid' and scares me from even trying. Every time the teacher asks the question, I almost immediately have an answer in my mind but by the time I get the courage to vocalize my answer, someone has already answered.

Being so self-conscious of myself and what others think of me really limits me, both academically and socially. There's always some worry going through my mind. What if people think I'm a nerdy know-it-all? What if they think I'm dumb? What if they think I'm mean? What if they think I'm clingy? But the truth is, people don't think about me nearly as much as I think they do. Don't get me wrong, sometimes they do. But if those people are really analyzing you that much, maybe they aren't necessarily worth your time.

I agree it's not as easy as it sounds. But next time I find myself hesitating because of other people I'm just going to think "F*** it, who cares?" and do it. So today I decided to run for the President of my class. I refuse to be intimidated and I refuse to be submissive. If I win, great, and if I don't, oh well at least I tried. If there's something you're hesitant about doing, I say go for it. Don't let other people hold you back.

Those are my thoughts for this week. Now begins my first official weekend at college, so I'll let you know how that goes. 

Tuesday Talks | First or Third Person Narrative?

Welcome to another Tuesday Talks, a GoodReads group started by Janie and Janelle where we discuss book-related topics every Tuesday. Today we're going to discuss the pros and cons of first and third person perspectives in books. I honestly think that both of them have advantages and disadvantages and different books and authors work differently with each perspective.

First person narrative is really good for coming of age and contemporary novels. Through first person we get to see directly into a person's brain. We get to see their course of action and why they do what they do (a skill I wish I had in real life), which is really helpful especially when the protagonist makes a grand revelation. However first person is restrictive, we only get to see from one person or a small number of people.

Third person is a bit more interesting because we can get so many different perspectives but still get some amount of internal thought from the characters. It's not as deep as a first person narrative but still gets the job done. I think third person is really good for action and adventure books, where most of the plot and conflict is external. Third person allows us to see different sides of the same external event which is an interesting way to build the storyline.

I don't think that I can objectively say whether one type of narrative is better than the other. Both have some pros and cons and I really think that these different types are better applicable in different genres. What do you guys think? Do you like one type of perspective more than the other? Let me know in the comments below! 

The College Diaries | Pros and Cons of the College Life

As high schoolers we dream of going to college. We dream of having the infinite freedom of living away from our parents. No one to nag us or interfere in our lives. And while college is a fantastic and completely worthwhile experience, it's not absolutely flawless.

PRO: Freedom. 

This is the biggest and by far most common pro. We can basically do whatever we want, be wherever we want, eat whatever we want. There is no one nagging us to eat or sleep. I have been at college for about six days and for so many of those days we've stayed up until one or two in the morning just sitting and talking, something I normally wouldn't have been able to do at home. We even get freedom inside our classroom. Finally we can take classes and subjects we actually like rather than just fill a quota.

CON: No privacy/ alone time 

As an only child one of the things I cherished most was my alone time. Time I could talk to myself and just sit and think, allowing myself to relax and unwind. It was time I didn't have to socialize or keep up a reputation. And in college that time is exponentially smaller. First of all, most people have a roommate. And since you share such a small space with someone, it's fairly difficult to find time to have the room to yourself. And second, you live in a building filled completely with other people your age. People are constantly going in and out of rooms and going up and down the stairs, so complete silence and aloneness is hard to achieve.

PRO: People 

This could be both a pro and a con, but in order to spin it in a more positive way, I'll make it a pro. There are so many people in college and so many types of people. Everyone has some type of story to them and it's actually a lot of fun to meet and learn the backgrounds behind all of these people. There are people you instantly click with, and there are others that take a bit more figuring out, but all together it is definitely an interesting experience.

CON: It's so much easier to feel lonely

This sort of contradicts a previous point I made. Although it's hard to achieve a state of being alone, feeling lonely is very easy. This is the first time away from your parents, and if you're extremely close with your parents like I am, then their absence is extremely palpable in your life. On top of that you realize that at college everyone comes to do their own thing. Some people have class, while others have jobs or internships. No one is going through the exact same path so it's hard to have people know exactly what you're going through.

There are both PROS and CONS to the college lifestyle, and while I am excited to continue on this journey, I'm also terrified. There are so many interactions and relationships that I'm making for the first time here and I'm very worried that my lack of experience will unintentionally mess them up.

The Heir | Kiera Cass

Princess Eadlyn has grown up hearing endless stories about how her mother and father met. Twenty years ago, America Singer entered the Selection and won the heart of Prince Maxon—and they lived happily ever after. Eadlyn has always found their fairy-tale story romantic, but she has no interest in trying to repeat it. If it were up to her, she'd put off marriage for as long as possible.

But a princess's life is never entirely her own, and Eadlyn can't escape her very own Selection—no matter how fervently she protests.

Eadlyn doesn't expect her story to end in romance. But as the competition begins, one entry may just capture Eadlyn's heart, showing her all the possibilities that lie in front of her . . . and proving that finding her own happily ever after isn't as impossible as she's always thought.

Continuing the Selection Series, the Heir proved to be yet another cute, light read. Set more than eighteen years in the future, we get to meet America and Maxon's daughter Eadlyn, a woman close to taking the throne as the first woman leader. The caste system has been officially disbanded however there's still unrest in the public, and in order to distract them from the rebellion beginning to brew, Eadlyn is forced into a Selection of her own. 

While this new series seems like a repeat of the original, I'm excited to see the different perspectives, one of the selector as opposed to the selectees, and I am especially excited to see more of a development of the characters and the world. 

I had mentioned in my review of The One that I felt the world was only briefly introduced and I'm hoping we get to see more. Perhaps in the later books we'll be able to step outside the castle and get a first hand view of the riots and rebellions. 

One character I am particularly looking forward to is Princess Eadlyn. In just the first book, we began seeing a dramatic difference in her personality. She begins as a stubborn girl, someone who has spent their entire life training for the crown. She knows how she should look and act; prim and proper, but she refuses to acknowledge any part of her that is vulnerable. Her heart and her personality is blocked by a thick brick wall, masked by a picture of perfection. By the end of the book we begin making small dents and I'm hoping it's completely torn down by the end of the series.

It's definitely worth continuing if you've read the other Selection books. And if you haven't read those, I definitely recommend them if you're looking for a cute, light read. I'll link my previous reviews down below if you want to read more about the other books. 
The Selection
The Elite

The College Diaries | The Time I Moved In

Hey guys,

So I know I've been a little all over the place with my discussion posts and reviews lately but I promise I have a good reason. The last couple of days I've been busy moving into college, which is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

So at the moment I'm feeling a bit more homesick than I feel like I should. I got to move in today and unpack my stuff and I will say that I'm pleasantly surprised by the size of our room. While the people next to us got a slightly smaller room with barely a wardrobe, we got a fairly large room with two closets, two desks and four dressers.

Upperclassmen make orientation as easy as possible. They open themselves up to answering any and all questions we have, regardless of the topic and I think everyone else is having just as much trouble digesting this whole college situation as I am.

"What time is curfew?"
"Are we allowed to go off campus?"

It's hard to realize that after all this time, we're completely free. In fact, I went outside at one in the morning and my friend and I ran through the sprinklers, something I wouldn't normally have done at home.

It's an interesting adventure and I'm really hoping this homesickness feeling wears off and I really begin having fun and studying just as hard. It's about two am so I'm gonna sign off and hopefully write more tomorrow

~Fantabulous College Student 

Free For All Friday | I'm Terrified

College is every teenager's dream. It's the first time in their life they get to live away from their parents and finally get the chance to be independent. They're free to party, sleep, and eat however they want. But of course I can't be like most teenagers. Instead of being excited I'm terrified.

Tomorrow I move into college and it's the biggest change I've ever been through. I'll go from a quiet, small household to a dorm full of energetic teenagers. Weekends will no longer consist of me alone in my room watching Netflix... well I mean it might but the likelihood of that happening is far less. And while these immediate changes like sharing a bathroom and a bedroom are significant, the most terrifying thing is that this is where life begins. From here on out I have to begin building up my "career" in fact, I can begin referring to my academics as part of this so called "career." I have to plan my classes, volunteer work, internships, jobs, everything around this career, so that it helps me in the future.

I had a graduation party a couple days ago. A couple family friends came over as a sort of good bye and as they were leaving, they told me how excited they were to, hopefully one day, see my name in the news or a fancy research magazine. Let's be honest, if I'm going down the medical field the only way I'm going to be showcased like that is if I do something spectacular, something worthy of Grey's Anatomy. It's an expectation, an expectation to be successful. While most children (usually Indian or Asian) are pressured to do well academically and continually forced and nagged to sit down and study, I never had that. Throughout high school I was self-motivated enough to manage my study habits on my own and as a result I've grown a reputation. I'm the "perfect" child everyone else gets compared to, and trust me it's not as good as it sounds. I've set the bar high for myself, perhaps a little too high. I've started the race of life at a full on sprint and I'm terrified I'm going to burn out before reaching the finish line. I'm terrified I'm not going to live up to the expectations and goals other people have set for me. And honestly I'm most terrified I'm not going to live up to my own expectations.

I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out there about college. I have no doubt they're going to be an exciting four years, but I'm equally terrified and anxious. Maybe you guys feel the same way, or have any experiences you want to share, I'd love to hear about them! 

The Well of Ascension by Brandon Sanderson | Discussion Post #6

Welcome to the last Well of Ascension discussion post! But don't worry we still have one more book to read. We've done a bunch of other discussion posts for the last two books which are here:

The Final Empire | Discussion #1

The Final Empire | Discussion #2

The Final Empire | Discussion #3

The Final Empire | Discussion #4

The Final Empire | Discussion #5

The Well of Ascension | Discussion #1

The Well of Ascension | Discussion #2

The Well of Ascension | Discussion #3
The Well of Ascension | Discussion #4
The Well of Ascension | Discussion #5

And of course, two books in there are guaranteed spoilers so instead of leaving and never coming back, join us, because trust me these books are not something you want to miss!

1. What do you think of Elend as a Mistborn? Do you think it will damper his relationship with Vin?

Courtney: I think it’s going to be very interesting to see Elend as a Mistborn, in a good way. I really don’t think it will cause issues with Vin because she will feel more comfortable if he’s capable of protecting himself. It might even make them closer, since they will be able to share more of their experiences with each other.  

Saloni: It was constantly a problem that Vin was a Mistborn while Elend wasn’t so I’m not sure Elend becoming a Mistborn will be too big of a problem. I think it’ll help both of them be able to understand each other more. The only problem I can forsee is a sense of competition brewing between them, but the probability of that happening is very unlikely. 

2. What are your thoughts on the creature that was released from the Well of Ascension?

Courtney: I feel like this creature is connected to the voice that Zane heard and the spikes in the Inquisitors. I’m not sure if it’s just some creature that can be vanquished or some sort of evil deity. It’s obviously very powerful and I think must be connected to the mists in some way. It has to also be related to the fact that documents change over time. It’s all connected in some greater way.

Saloni: There is so much mystery surrounding this creature and all we know about it is that it’s been released from the Well. I think the power that Vin/ the Lord Ruler had kept the creature at bay but I’m not sure exactly how the creature is connected to the Mists. Maybe when the Lord Ruler kept his power, he prevented the creature from being released which stopped the Mists. Maybe releasing the power is dangerous because it frees the Mists.

3. Did the novel meet your expectations?

Courtney: Honestly, yes. Yes, it did. It’s always hard going into a sequel because you want it to live up to the first book. In some ways I prefer the Final Empire, but in others I prefer the Well of Ascension. They both build the world and characters so beautifully that it’s really impossible for me to say which I prefer. Even on a second reading I was amazed by how good this book was.  

Saloni: Surprisingly it did. The author’s job is exponentially harder as he or she tries to meet or even surpass the original book. I think Sanderson did a fantastic job of maintaining those high expectations. Both The Final Empire and The Well of Ascension were amazing, in every aspect. I couldn’t say one was better than the other. 

4. Is there anything you would change about the novel as a whole (characters, setting, events, etc)?

Courtney: Vin. Not really her as a character, but some of the story involving her. I felt that her sudden acceptance of her place and role was too abrupt. While I think it was important for her to be vulnerable in the beginning and unsure about certain things I felt that she regressed too much. Other than that minor problem I don’t think I would want anything changed.  

Saloni: I do agree with Courtney that Vin’s sudden acceptance was extremely abrupt but I don’t think it affected the storyline too much. I do wish there was a bit more about the Lord Ruler and his mysterious powers. I understand that so much of that information is cloaked in mystery because we’ll probably find out everything in the last book. But I almost felt like we had too little fact and too much speculation, so it was slightly hard to believe that everyone happened to figure out so much of the missing information on a whim. 

5. What did you like most about the novel?

Courtney: Tough question because the whole thing was excellent, but I’m going to have to say Elend and his character progression. I loved his character from the first book but this made me love him even more. Being in his head, seeing his struggles, it was all very beautifully done. I think his character progression is one of the best I’ve seen in a Sanderson novel. I don’t remember feeling so invested in his character the first time around, so I think some of that has to do with my own mindset. He was brilliantly written.  

Saloni: This is such a hard question because everything in this book was fantastic. Elend was a great addition to the book, and I love that we got to see his perspective a bit more. In general I loved how expansive this book was. We got everyone’s perspective from Vin and Elend to Straff and Zane, which was different from the first book.