Monday, January 25, 2016

The College Diaries | Five Types of College Roommates

So, as some of you know, I'm currently in my first year of college. And unfortunately with college comes the aspect of living in a dorm room, usually with a roommate and that roommate can be a hit or miss. Over the course of the year I've heard countless roommate stories and experienced some myself and wanted to share some stories and advice.

1. The Unsatisfied 

Beginning near and dear to me is the unsatisfied roommate. This is the roommate that doesn't appreciate anything you do, whether it be cleaning out the fridge fungus that grew because of something she forgot or tidying up the room. She will always think you are a "subpar" roommate even though you literally never get in her way. She is constantly making up unreasonable rules to make your life difficult.

Story: The Unsatisfied has a very sensitive nose and is constantly complaining how the room smells bad. Over the weekend, the custodians don't take out the trash. Over the three day weekend, the trash cans are overflowing with garbage and begins to smell on the floor. My friend comments how the smell is too strong, the Unsatisfied says "Oh I got used to it." Days later, the Unsatisfied walks into their dorm room and says "something smells" and proceeds to open the window in freezing weather because she can't stand the smell (which doesn't exist).

Advice: Wrap yourself in blankets and ignore her, she's not worth your time.

2. The Sexually Active 

Coming into college with little to no dating experience, this one is probably the hardest for me to comprehend. This roommate doesn't consider that she's living with someone but rather is constantly bringing boys into her room. After a long day of classes, research, extracurriculars and everything else a typical college student does, the last thing she needs is to come home to her roommate naked with some boy she barely knows.

Story: The story begins with my friend already having a pretty stressful week. Finals are just around the corner and she has several essays and exams to study for. As a good college student she decides to sleep a little early Saturday night so she can wake up early the next morning to maximize productivity. As she's falling asleep the Sexually Active comes in, drunk, with a boy and they begin going through the bases right as she's in the room. After a bit of yelling on her part, the Sexually Active huffs and leaves, coming back 30 minutes later giving the boy her bed while she took the other bed in the room (my friend had three roommates). The next morning she decides enough is enough and tells Sexually Active that it's not appropriate to bring unknown boys into their room at the dead of night and Sexually Active replies "Yeah that's true, I didn't know his name either"

Advice: Have a bullhorn on hand for such events.

3. The Borrower 

The Borrower is the roommate who takes the phrase "mi casa es tu casa" way too seriously. They're way too entitled to your belongings and next time you're missing a pair of underwear or a sock, the first place you look is in their drawers. When you go home for the weekend, they let all their friends sleep in your bed and use your pillow without asking permission. But of course, this only goes one way, you're not allowed to use any of their stuff (but odds are you probably don't want to).

Story: My friend lives fairly close to home so she frequently goes home over the weekend. Unfortunately in her absence the Borrower lets all of her friends sleepover in my friend's bed and when she returns, the bed is unmade with the pillows strewn everywhere, a clear indication that someone's been messing with her stuff.

Advice: Put forks underneath the bedsheets to prevent unwanted people on your bed.

4. The Elusive

This is probably the second best type of roommate to have. This is the person you never realize are there. Sometimes your run into each other in the morning, but both of you have separate groups of friends and completely different schedules so you never run into each other. You get along enough to live together but not enough to call each other friends. Their presence is neither a benefit nor a bother.

Advice: Leave her alone, don't tempt the Beast.


5. The Best Friend 

Now if you're really lucky, you get the Best Friend. Whether this was because you've pre chosen your roommate or happen to be really lucky with a random roommate, you and the Best Friend are inseparable. You don't mind borrowing each other's stuff, you eat at the dining hall together all the time, you genuinely like each other and are thankful you're living together. You're even part of the same friend group and planning on living together for the next four years of college.

Advice: Go buy a lottery ticket, your luck has peaked.

These are only some of the roommates out there, but I'm sure there are more. Let me know if you guys have any roommate stories, I would love to hear them!